What's Next?

You Have Stolen My Heart

I miss my best friend. I miss being able to wear/share clothes with her. I miss cuddling on her bed talking about how lame boys are. I miss watching the ABC Family line up starting at 2pm with her, even though I was usually at work or she was or in class or something. But most of all, I miss her hugs and laughter and crazy, lovely face.

France makes you feel lonely in the world. Or maybe it's just the way I'm feeling right now. According to the last blog, I can knock off one of my "wishlist" items. But note that I said "travel" France and not live here. I am not sure I am made out for this living in a foreign country thing for an extended period of time. But I will do it, yes I will. Not because I may or may not have signed a contract, but because I know there are people, family and friends, who don't believe I can do this and I want to prove them all wrong. And I also want to prove to myself that there is life after France and I will be a better, yet different, person for coming here.

The hardest thing about being here is that people at home think my life is so grand now just because I can say "I'm living in France." Newsflash, it isn't. It's like living in Redmond or Bellingham but with less friends and speaking a foreign language most of the time. Don't get me wrong, for the most part I enjoy living here. Yesterday when I stepped off the bus at 8:15am to go to one my schools, the sky was a million different shades of pink, and I thought, "Wow, I am living in France and this looks so cool, I wish I had my camera". So see? I do appreciate where I am for the moment, but it's also making me appreciate home and my family and friends way more than I used to.

I have a life here, but I also have a life waiting for me at home. It's hard having two lives...

posted by Caitlin @ 2:11 AM